Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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