you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize