whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
