Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
