i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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