I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You brought string cheese to the strip club
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
