how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
