"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
