I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
