His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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