Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Just pee around me
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize