Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
