barbara walters just said penis...
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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