Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He? As in you personified your dick?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize