Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
