i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
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and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
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When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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