he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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