I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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