I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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