we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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