I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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