they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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