i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
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he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
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Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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