Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
