Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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