She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
