you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i will never coherently bang her
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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