I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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