I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
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