Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
