You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
