he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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