The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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