I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
