i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
