and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
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If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
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What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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