yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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