this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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