I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
