I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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