Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
my liver is dry heaving
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
