I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
