Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
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