How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
