Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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