I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
