it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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