my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
