Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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