i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
