If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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