how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
