You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
