it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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