so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
