well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I'm always down for nudity.
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