i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
