I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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