haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
