im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
