Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
they're like a gay fantastic four
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize