why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
