My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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