also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
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at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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