Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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