My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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