He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
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