she was so not down for the gang bang
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
