Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
